Blue Collar

Today I celebrate a personal/professional milestone. As of today I have received 2,390 customer reviews on our Listen 360 survey program. I am currently at a 70% satisfaction rate. That is the most in our entire franchise! Now, I know 70% doesn’t sound too fabulous but let me explain: the survey rates the booking CSR as well as the cleaning technician, so my percentage is shared with whoever actually did the work. I am very proud of myself!


I LOVE COFFEE! I recently moved my Mr. Coffee coffee maker into my work “pen” so that I can drink it 24/7. Let me just say “EFFF YEA!” It’s probably the greatest thing I’ve done in my 3 years here at ZEROREZ. A few people have complained about this move but I really do not care. I still share my coffee, it’s just closer to me now! YAY! Now I can live out my fantasy of being a barista. In the past I applied for 3 different barista jobs, two corporate coffee shops and one local, and was turned down at each for being “over-qualified”…. AS IF!!! I have absolutely no experience whatsoever. I was in this phase where I thought that I really wanted a part-time job to supplement my shopping habits. So to me I figured the best place to hold a PT job would be a coffee shop since I love customer service and delicious, sensual and aromatic coffee. Well, that phase did not last too long. I am now looking to supplement my shopping habits by becoming employed as a Tattoo Shop manager. That would be fun too! Interesting and fun. Busy busy busy.

Can I just say that I am somewhat upset that we’ve been having a couple almost too warm days here in Minneapolis? Not that I hate summer with a wild passion and wish to live in a frozen tundra, I am just a fall person. I enjoy the summer and the warmer temperatures when I have free time to sit at a beach or in the shade… or in my living room with nothing but my underwear on and an ice pack on my neck. I tend to over-heat. A lot. I am also a sweaty gal. Very sweaty. Warm temperatures and I just do not mix very well. It is very hard for me to dress comfortably in the summer as well. I love the fall. I love not having to worry about melting at my work-station or while out and about at the dog park or grocery store. I love being able to drink hot tea out on my patio while watching Elton pounce around the yard. I guess I am just saying I am ready for the leaves to change and for a nice bonfire. That is all I want right now. I do not feel that its too much to ask.

Thank you.


On Going Back

I am not the kind of person to hold on to regrets. Anger, resentments, grudges, any slight grievance… those things I will generally bottle up and hold on to longer than the average person.

At this time I do wish I could go back. I’d say it was just over three hours ago, so I’d like to go back 3 hours and 15 seconds in time. I would tell past Maria, “no, put that down, you don’t really want it” and I would save myself from my current troubles.

About four cups of “Handful of Everything” trail mix [thanks Target] I am ready to explode. I would say I ate about three cups more than any single person should in a sitting. But I did. And while I’m not necessarily proud of it, I am somewhat shocked that I actually managed to eat that much trail mix. So now I sit, hunched over in agony while what feels like a fifty pound boulder is slowly tearing a path from my intestines to my freaking chute.

I am somewhat uncomfortable, to say the least.

My kitty Elton is laying at the end of the bed pawing playfully at the dog. Rocky [dog] is circling the bed almost like a vulture would looking for the quickest way onto the bed without be caught by the sharp claws of Mr. Snuggle Bum. Rocky is at the door now pretending to sniff the ground while obviously staring at Elton. Elton is just staring back. A DUEL! It is pretty safe to say that Elton is King of the Bed at this point. They get along just fine, this is just play time for the boys. Naturally Elton is hyphy – it’s 11:30! His nocturnal instincts are telling him to go wild and to attack the dog, but his insatiable desire to cuddle has won him over and now he is reduced to nothing more than a cuddle bear.

So, this is my life right now.

Today I spent another glorious day in paradise at work and put myself to the task of finding my favorite coffee mug. I do this thing where I compulsively purchase coffee mugs and bring them with me, well, everywhere. So, I have mugs for coffee or tea wherever I may end up. I brought one of my most prized Monopoly themed mugs to work and haven’t seen it for a good 2 weeks now. SUSPICION! I have had mug thievery at work in the past and typically get over it real quick by replacing any missing mug with one of the 30 I have floating around central MN. Well this one is different! It is super cute with a pair of dice on the inner ring with “LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL” printed there as well. Uhm… FUN! Love that mug. Definitely brings a smile to my face in the am when I’m all droopy eyed and practically hung over from my crazy nights watching NEXGEN and drinking Sleepy Time tea. ANYWAYS – my secret mission while allllll the managers are out of the office for the next two days is to stalk the entire premises, leaving no desk completely ransacked and upturned until I find my precious.

The past 32 hours

Welp, Ren Fest was just as fun and food-filled as I had hoped it would be! I walked out $60 lighter with my silver fox tail, lucky rabbits foot & about 3lbs of food stuffed in my belly. Shared: 3 meat pies, 1 ear of corn, 1 two foot long tube of beef jerky, three bottles of Vitamin Water & 1 Turtle Sunday. YUM.

The highlight of my day yesterday is a tie between seeing the most adorable fluff butt Shepard pup named Colfax. He was tiny as a Shepard pup could be and had the greatest fro I’ve ever seen on a dog. Just great. And then there was the brilliant idea to play the “dueling buckets” game, where two opponents stand apart, directly under buckets of water, facing one another with 3 sandbags. The first to knock the target at their opponents side wins, the loser getting doused with cold water. WELL Mandi [the bestie] and I thought it would be a great way to spend $1 so we pass our belongings off and decide to duel. Not such a good idea for me wearing my wonderfully unprotected leather booties.


I totally won on the 2nd toss and laughed as my best friend of 20 years was drenched with about 3 gallons of water. She, the sports queen – basketball, soccer, softball etc.. lost to MOI – Maria the bookworm, never played a sport [well] in her life, won! MUAHHAHAHHAA!! Then, surprisingly enough to me, my prize for winning was to also be drenched with about 3 gallons of water.

In the picture above my friend Cat beautifully captured the moment, me, blinded by the glaring sun, desperately clinging to my soaked shirt hoping the water would stop coming so I could keep my clothes on.

What an awkward game! What an awkward 45 minutes afterwards as we continued wandering through the place. Slosh slosh sloshing along, My boots are still wet as I lay in bed typing this. I broke into random laughter throughout the day thinking of how stupid we were to think that was a good idea.

At least I got my fox tail.

TODAY – I shocked myself by walking to Target this morning. I prepped myself for this intense journey by putting on my best [and only] walking shoes, grabbing my water-bottle and transferring all my pursely items to my backpack for easier travel. So basically I found out that Target is about .9 miles from my house. So I totally felt like an asshole. I got my morning coffee and scoped out some new sheets.

HOLY FUCK – $49.99 for sheets?? Where have I been?? I guess that since my bed was a hand-me-down complete with 4 different sheets [2 sets of purple, 2 sets of gold] with pillow cases & matching comforter I haven’t really had the need to browse the sheet isle, or take notice. Well, I’ll be damned! Looks like I am asking Santa for sheets this X-Mas.

Not that I don’t think quality sheets are worth fifty bones, its just that mine are in perfectly great condition granted they’re about 8 years old. I just wanted to get a set of flannel sheets, ya know, for winter and whatever. Oh well.

Attempted to buy some of those oh so stylish and impossible to find brown knee high fall boots. I guess my calves are RIDICULOUSLY tiny because not a pair in that store fit me! I was in Famous Footwear and NOT ONE of those damn boots would stay up on my calves. Doomed.

I stumbled into Home Depot as well. That was fun wandering through the garden center on such a pretty day! Oh my goodness, the air was so sweet and fresh I almost cried as Megadeath blasted through my iPod. My boyfriend created my playlists. I ended up walking out with a pair of landscaping gloves marketed towards “strong, capable females”, which I consider myself to be when I am not weak & helpless. They are really cute with a nice coushy padding in the palm with a leathery grip and a fun leaf & flower pattern on the back. So, it seems I’ll be doing some more landscaping this year.

My truck… Lil Red… is soon to be dead. My love, my rusty red GMC Sonoma is pretty much as useless to me as a butt-hole on my forehead. Transmission is failing and I am at the point where I really shouldn’t be putting any more money into the thing but my heart is breaking! Such a fun truck. So many memories!

Image her in the summer time

Image one of my gals who adorned the back window

Image Lil Red herself, in all her glory… sure gonna miss ya, Baby!

Sunday almost funday


Today my plan includes, but is not limited to:

Getting out of bed. See, that’s the first step for today. Baby steps …

what about bob?

it’s 11:04 here in sunny Minneapolis and I should have been up hours ago! Fuck it, today is my Saturday.

Even though I have plans to go get coffee with my boyfriend before meeting up with the gang I’ll totally make myself some Earl Grey tea to go with my breakfast.. yogurt, oats, menthol cigarette.

We are hitting up the REN FEST today! I’m excited don’t get me wrong but the CAPS is all auto-correct and not my doing. So I guess my phone is more excited than I am, and that’s okay because it’s coming with me! Wooooo!

Reed and my gal pal Cat have never been before, which surprised me about Cat, I’ve known her for about… 4 years now and she seems the kinda gal to be into it. Reed…. doesn’t surprise me. This fuck….. ohhhh this sheltered fuck, never gotten ice cream from an ice cream truck…. NEVER HEARD R KELLY’S IGNITION OR THE REMIX TO IGNITION! Hes only one year and ten days younger than I am but there is this awful divide when it comes to life experiences. Anyways, that’s another blog all together.

I’m mostly excited to get Reed a giant chicken leg. Ha. It’s should be fun. I’m also excited to replenish my fox tail collection. And I know I know….

fur is murder

but I strongly believe that there is love after death.

Martini out.

Couch vs. Target

Tonight has become one of those nights where I can’t decide what I want to do.

Do I want to sit on the couch with my cat, Elton, and surround myself with a mountain of sugary and salty treats. Just veg out in front of tv with my junk food feast and eat until my stomach is near exploding until 11pm…

Or do I grab my bag of “returnables” [goods purchased during my most recent Target Blackout trip that I don’t necessarily need or want so I’ll be returning] and head up to Target?

See, heading to Target sounds appealing to me but knowing how I get during my “moods” I’m afraid I’ll just have yet another black out trip and, well, repeat the same mistake I made on Monday.

In all reality I know what is going to happen… I am going to continue to lay here in bed, completely overwhelmed by my hectic day, the gross pile of laundry waiting to be washed and the fluffy tendrils of cat hair floating through my house… I’ll play online reading blogs, stalk people on Instagram, Google search “kittens wrestling” videos and maybe fade in and out of a sleep like state. My boyfriend will unsuccessfully try to peel me out if bed and after I shame him for caring about my well being I’ll chain smoke 3 cigarettes. After that I will most likely hop into the shower and just stand in the lukewarm water [we turned the water heater temp down… brrrrrrrr] and think of ridiculous alternate endings to different conversations I might have had today. I will finally stuff my face with maybe two bowls of cereal and head back to bed.

Tomorrow I will wake up exactly 13 minutes before I have to leave home to make it to work on time and whine the whole ride in about how I didn’t have time to stop for coffee.

I will stumble into work and sing “gooooood mooooorning to my coworkers and supervisors and fellow managers and plan my day around call volume.

Secretly I will be googling more kitten images and periodically I will sneak peaks and giggle silently to myself at the adorable little fuzz butts….

Three years from 30 and that is how I cope with reality.

My Stories

I just can’t get enough of Star Trek: Next Generation. I am not even going to lie and claim I’ve been a long time fan. No. Star Trek terrified me as a child. Both Data and Worf specifically.

Now, I was definitely not a sheltered child by any means, I was just a total pussy.

Anywho, after watching both of the newer Star Trek movies I allowed myself to watch a few episodes of what I now call “Nexgen”… aaaand I’m addicted!


I am so happy that my boyfriend introduced me to this otherwise “lost to me” gem. Any other Trekkies out there?? I know Star Wars is still a big thing and I haven’t allowed myself to “get into” all that, Dr. Who as well. I know a lot of people who just can’t get enough, people who are ready to Cosplay after work and everything…

Lol I’m not even going to go there.

“My stories” = shows I’ve marathoned and obsessed over

Star Trek Nexgen – currently
Revenge (I know)
Greys Anatomy
Battlestar Galactica – this was fun
Desperate muhfukkin Housewives
Hell on Wheels
Breaking Bad
X Files [always and forever] xoxo
Dexter – this was a fun one too

I like my stories.

I love my life.

Most of all I love my cat!








Got this new nail color from a gal pal last week… wishing my nails weren’t so jankity so I can test it out! It has a leather effect [hence the name] so once it dries it has this CRAZY leathery finish to it. Pretty cool actually, I tested it out on one nail and I couldn’t help but continuously run my finger over it.

I am all about textures. I love the soft, ripply feeling of worn out leather. I prefer it to new leather, there is something almost sterile about new leather to me. I can’t quite put my finger on it but there is something kind of off about new leather. Too stiff? I don’t know but I definitely don’t like cracked worn out leather either.

Hard to please, I guess.

Last night my manfriend and I decided to spoil ourselves with some Dairy Queen. We got ourselves so excited and even loaded the dog up for the 2 mile trip for a tasty treat. Well… “our” Dairy Queen is awkwardly located in the back of a strip-mall parking lot with access on ALL sides. So, when you approach the drive-through from 3 of the 4 entrances you run the risk of crossing paths with a total idiot. This guy in a tiny beat up Saturn was barreling towards the drive through which we were already in the painted drive entrance on our way to the order window and he seriously couldn’t contain himself. Obviously he was experiencing an ice cream emergency because he sped up headed directly towards us – well directly towards me in the passanger seat – at 20 miles an hour [I shit you not, straight speeding for some Queen] and because we were already inches from the drive through window naturally my boyfriend doesn’t stop. This was not pleasing to this guy and he proceeds to honk at us. Not one quick “hey, I wanted to be where you are now” honk, or even a couple short bursts of “what the fuck?” honks… NO… he let out one long, loud, impatient “I’m a total fuck-tard who has no decency or common sense” honk. I was livid. And I love confrontation. So I sat in my seat and started screaming nonsense at him from the window and turned in my seat to glare at him as he waited for us to order. I continued to stare at him as we got our Blizzards and requested that we leave the window at an obnoxiously slow pace.

My boyfriend, Reed, suggested that maybe the guy is diabetic and really needed ice cream… I wasn’t having any of that. What kind of diabetic rolls around without hard candy??? I’ve seen Steel Magnolia’s enough times to know that when people have diabetes they and everyone they know keep hard candies around for such purposes.

Don’t honk at me unless you want my undivided attention.

I don’t work on Monday’s.

That pleases me.

I’d wear it…


Found this image after searching “duck boots” online and I think its an exceptionally adorable fall outfit.

I have a passion for fall like no other.

The smell of the air, the crisp cool breezes, the changing colors of nature, SWEATERS, scarves, denim and flannel, boots and chunky knit socks… hot tea while cuddled up in a blanket and a juicy novel on the porch… late nights surrounding a crackling fire with close friends or that special someone.

There are so many reasons to love fall! My birthday [October 16th] – not having to wear paper thin clothing to avoid boiling in the sun. Crunchy leaves, NO MORE BUGS!! I think that is my favorite part…. the lack of bugs. Pumpkin spice everything from everywhere.

What else am I missing? There are so many more reasons to love the fall I just cant take it!


3rd String

Dispatch is out for the day so it’s “3rd String” this morning. So far today I learned that I had no idea how to close jobs now that our software has been changed. I cant remember the last time I laughed this hard… this early. I am just soooooo nooooot a morning person so smiling before 10am is just… wow!

LAST NIGHT – DP’s with the gang for my girlie’s b-day – what a blast! I ate so much I thought I was going to explode on the drive home.

There is something about chips and salsa that I simply cannot resist. I just CANT! Every time I go grocery shopping I buy chips and salsa and eat through the entire jar as I unload said groceries. Every time I go out to a Mexican [or Tex-Mex] place I fill up entirely on chips and salsa. I am addicted to the point of no return. I have been this way since I can remember. I like thinner, juicier salsa, cilantro & lime flavors drive me crazy. I can do the chunky stuff but prefer restaurant style or pico to something like “Tostino’s” or whatever. I especially love my mom’s homemade salsa. She minces green chili’s with onion, tomatoes, cilantro, & lime. I like to replicate her recipe and then add corn, black beans and even on occasion [this is weird I know] DICED DILL PICKLES! YUUMMMM!!

I’m driving myself crazy just thinking about it….