Tonight has become one of those nights where I can’t decide what I want to do.
Do I want to sit on the couch with my cat, Elton, and surround myself with a mountain of sugary and salty treats. Just veg out in front of tv with my junk food feast and eat until my stomach is near exploding until 11pm…
Or do I grab my bag of “returnables” [goods purchased during my most recent Target Blackout trip that I don’t necessarily need or want so I’ll be returning] and head up to Target?
See, heading to Target sounds appealing to me but knowing how I get during my “moods” I’m afraid I’ll just have yet another black out trip and, well, repeat the same mistake I made on Monday.
In all reality I know what is going to happen… I am going to continue to lay here in bed, completely overwhelmed by my hectic day, the gross pile of laundry waiting to be washed and the fluffy tendrils of cat hair floating through my house… I’ll play online reading blogs, stalk people on Instagram, Google search “kittens wrestling” videos and maybe fade in and out of a sleep like state. My boyfriend will unsuccessfully try to peel me out if bed and after I shame him for caring about my well being I’ll chain smoke 3 cigarettes. After that I will most likely hop into the shower and just stand in the lukewarm water [we turned the water heater temp down… brrrrrrrr] and think of ridiculous alternate endings to different conversations I might have had today. I will finally stuff my face with maybe two bowls of cereal and head back to bed.
Tomorrow I will wake up exactly 13 minutes before I have to leave home to make it to work on time and whine the whole ride in about how I didn’t have time to stop for coffee.
I will stumble into work and sing “gooooood mooooorning to my coworkers and supervisors and fellow managers and plan my day around call volume.
Secretly I will be googling more kitten images and periodically I will sneak peaks and giggle silently to myself at the adorable little fuzz butts….
Three years from 30 and that is how I cope with reality.