Not Dancing

As I sit here in my cube an hour and a half before my shift starts I find myself completely unable to think of an early dancing memory. My earliest dancing memory… homecoming dance of 2003, possibly. I am not a dancer. 

I don’t dance now and I didn’t dance then. I don’t even know how to dance, I more or less just flop around like a fish out of water. I like to pretend that I am a giant noodle and I just wiggle around on dance floors across the metro area.

 

 I found this on Google Images.. that is pretty much what I look like dancing. I always smile. Smiling is good when dancing, because then people look at my face instead of my flailing appendages! 

SO back to my earliest memory… homecoming… dance… people… I was wearing an ADORABLE black tea length sorta cocktail dress with a fuchsia crinoline that was about 3 inches too long so it shot out of the bottom adding this amazing flair to an otherwise funerally-dress. It had a very nice boat neck with thick straps off the shoulders. Very classy, timeless almsot. 

Fire engine RED hair.. wow I forgot that! 

What I am really trying to say is… I shouldn’t dance! 

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/02/27/prompt-dance/

Tunzo Funzo: A daily prompt blog

Show you fun… MY idea of fun…

If Hell froze over and for some reason I did not have to go into work tomorrow what would I do…

SLEEP IN! 

I know a lot of people, myself included on occasion, who take advantage of time off. Unexpected time off or not they wake up and seize the day, Newsies style.

With all the snow we’ve gotten I would most likely just want to stay in bed, cocooned in my blankets for hours. I am in desperate need of a crafting day and I did get a bunch of new paper to play with so I would most likely do this:

1. Wake up

2. Make coffee

3. Sit

4. Stretch

5. Drink coffee

6. Sit some more

7. CRAFT LIKE CRAZY – I have a few empty frames just laying about that I would really like to FILL with something. I have plenty of work that is just piled in random corners around the house. I could do that.

8. HANG pictures – in addition to the multiple empty frames I also have photos ready to be hung. Hardware and everything, just ready to be displayed. I just need to do it. It’s been somewhat difficult since my boyfriend/landlord [its the same person] is a little skeemish with the thought of holes in his walls. I mean, he’s owned the place for a while now so in my mind its time to actually live in it! Right? I’ve been living there for almost two years myself and haven’t hung up a single piece. I laugh about it because it seems so absurd to me. Why wouldn’t you put holes in the walls? I have never lived anywhere that didn’t have art hung in every available space. These naked walls give me gas.

9. Obviously eat… I like eating

10. Whatever the hell else I want to do! I’m a pretty simple gal. If I had a car there might be driving and/or shopping involved, because I LOVE shopping as much as I love smoking cigarettes!

I found this image on Google searching for “waking up” and I like it!

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/02/21/daily-prompt-good-time/

Fashion Days of Yore…

This was me circa 2005.

Oh. My. Goodness.

That was MY style back in the day. I hung with a rag-tag crew of scrubby young, wash your hair once a week, deodorant what?, skateboarding turds.

I liked denim vests & jackets with iron on [or stitch on] patches of my favorite different “damn the man” bands. I lived for leopard print anything [because it was oh-so sexy] and had to incorporate it in every outfit.

Dark, thick black eyeliner on both upper and *GASP* lower lids… [uuughghghghhghhhhghhh] not my best look.

Accessorizing was key. As much jewelry as possible was my preferred “look”. I enjoyed stacking rings, necklaces and whatever else I could to deck out my outfits. Note the labret piercing. I always wore my facial jewelry and as many earrings that I could.

Oh my goodness…. STUDS & SPIKES! Studs and spikes and spikes and studs. Studs and spikes on my shirts, my pants, my shoes. Spikes on my necklaces, studs in my face. The choker collars were really in, at least to me, and I had two different ones that I switched out depending on my outfits. A black one with ruby red “gems” and a red velvet one with black “gems”. How ridiculous.

Buttons too. Who didn’t love buttons in 2005? WHO DIDN’T?? Just try to tell me who didn’t, because it’s a lie, everyone loved buttons. Everyone STILL loves buttons!

The short, choppy hair-do was probably the worst in all my life. Practically a mullet, mostly a disconnected Beatles worthy shag. Ick.

My FAVORITE look… was most likely

The day bffl/hetero life partners wedding.

Notice how there is still leopard print shoes. Somewhat hard to see in the photo but the bride was also in leopard print shoes. I guess you could say its always been our thing. I think that day was my best fashion day. Sleek. Sassy. Stylish. CLASSIC! I loved, loved, loved the red, oh my goodness, my hair was perfect that day, too. Natural makeup look, no facial piercings and the duck face! LOL.

We were happy. It was a happy day. Happy fashion day!

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/02/20/daily-prompt-new-sensation/

Artsy Fartsy

Dreeeam Job…

Lets get right to the point. I have always said, and probably always will, that my dream job is to write and illustrate children’s books.

People will always have children. People will always read to their children. Children will always love to read.

BOOM – future set!

I remember when I was 14 years old I was in my English class and we had a project to write and illustrate a short children’s story. We were to make a little book and present to the class, blah blah blah… Anyways, I being me, wrote some story about a Siberian Husky who befriended a cat and they were awesome and happy and I got an A+ on the story, my class loved it, and my teacher was blown away by my illustrations. That was the first time I ever thought I could be happy doing something so… fun.

A few years later I had a similar school project, similar that I had to write a story, minus the illustrations. Well, for some reason that year I had a little more difficulty and I enlisted the help of my BFFL & hetero-life-partner to come up with a story. And what a story it WAS! If I have a copy around here somewhere I will definitely post it. This story was about a cat {Jacques] who was friends with a goat in France, who happened to fall in the ocean and ride a whale to a far away tropical island inhabited by jungle cats… I have no idea.

So, my dream job would look like this:

Wake up to morning sunlight & the smell of freshly brewed coffee, naturally, NO ALARM [beeep beeep beeeeeep – UGH, gross] and roll out of bed. By this time I am sure I would have a coffee maker with a timer so I don’t have to tinker around with grinding beans and filling pitchers with water or pretty much anything.

I will have my own personal space – full of natural light, pastel yellow & green decor, a nice big table, plenty of storage and work space… something like this, only with a bit more of what I described and less blinding white, less Croc’s, too…

So, I’d wake up, stretch, hang in my studio.. pump some jams on my iPod….

*NSYNC – OF COURSE – 

Id write, doodle, draw, paint, sketch, create story lines, develop characters… whatever my heart desired.

I would take as much time as I wanted for my lunch breaks where I would most likely just eat homemade mac-n-cheese while watching tv or walking the dog.

Basically my dream job is to never have to leave the house unless I want to go shopping or need to run errands. My dream job wont have me driving in rush hour traffic to and from work. My dream job will be low stress, high reward. My dream job would have lots of chocolate & sparkling water. My dream job will also have a lot of fun music.

Daily Prompt: http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/02/15/prompt-money-for-nothing/

Motivation: there’s a time & place for everything

I have a very hard time pinpointing why I never do much of anything.

Do I lack motivation? Am I simply lazy? Is there a difference between lacking motivation and being lazy?

Why do I procrastinate? Why are all of my amazing ideas hidden in a Rubbermaid bin under my bed? Why do I never paint, draw, write, post my blogs, clean the bathroom, walk the dog, take bubble baths… the list is endless.

How does one motivate themselves? Is it as simple as repeating inspirational quotes to yourself in a mirror until you achieve your goal like positive self affirmations?

Do people have to learn how to become motivated or is it something you’re born with?

I honestly don’t believe my problem is that I lack passion. Well, actually, it could be. BUT I feel like I’m a very passionate person… I do lose interest in things rather quickly. Could it be that ADHD thing I was told I have??

I partially believe that my problem could be my lack of focus and space. I really don’t have a creative space. Each of the rooms in my home have a purpose (or general purpose) and none of them are really designed to facilitate any sort of creative outlet or artistic expression.

Do I need a desk? Would that help me? Or would adding a desk just help me hide more projects and more ideas to be forgotten about for years. Is the lack of a desk or art space just an excuse to be lazy?

I found an old torn up plastic grocery bag under my bed. I was curious and opened it. There were about 10 really ornately designed rusty old door fixtures. I have no fucking clue why I saved them. Was I planning to do something artsy with them? I dunno. There are a lot of old torn up plastic bags full of ideas I once had but have long since forgotten about.

I want to dream again.

I want to create again.

I want to be motivated. I bought a fucking week/month planner! I had hoped that maybe by somehow buying the giant thing that it would help me manage my time better so that I could MAKE time to do what I used to LOVE! I haven’t. It’s been two months, so maybe I’m just rushing things?

I haven’t felt “myself” in a long time. In all honestly I haven’t felt that spark since I moved out of Eugene’s place over two years ago.

I have thought long and hard about why that is and a few things come to mind, mostly shared interest in creating and functional space.

I just feel kinda lost right now, without real purpose. I don’t know what I am doing with myself anymore.